the jumpoff.

Hello all, and welcome to my very first blog. Basically the idea for me to start 'blogging' came from a conversation I had with a friend of mine about getting our asses in gear and creating more successful, fulfilling lives for ourselves. Sitting around bitching and complaining about how little money we have and what we need and want but don't have, isn't going to get anyone anywhere except in most cases... to the bar. That's where I derived the name of my blog from. "Jesus Take the Wheel... I'm Drunk" isn't saying anything bad about religion, so those of you who are already upset by the title can relax... my mother being one of you. What I mean by that is, people often use the phrase "WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?)"... you see it on bumper stickers, bracelets, keychains, mugs, magnets, all that fun stuff. Through the many trials and tribulations of our lives, people turn to religion to get through. Although I do not consider myself to be religious, I was raised Catholic & do believe much of what is stated in the Bible... but I do not believe it all. We all have our own views; I will never knock yours, so please, do not knock mine. I see myself as more of a spiritual person than anything else... and I guess the more you read, the more you will understand that about me.

Often times, we find ourselves in situations that we have no idea how to handle, so we typically do one of three things; make the completely wrong decision all on our own... ask someone else for advice, when 9 times out of 10 you do what you want anyway... (its like a part of you almost needs to verify that your choice is absolutely the wrong one)... or lastly, you think about what you really want to do, ask the people who know you the best and who you trust the most for their opinions, have an internal debate with yourself to figure out the healthiest way to navigate the situation, and then when totally clear-headed, execute the best possible solution (the most intelligent, yet least traveled road).

In my case, I have explored all of these avenues, countless times and at the end of the day, I came to the conclusion that I just didn't want to be responsible for making these crucial, life-changing decisions anymore... call me crazy, but I wasn't friggin' good at it and someone else needed to "take the wheel"... and that's where JC came in. I obviously wasn't doing a good job of navigating through my own life... so who better!? And for the "I'm drunk" part... well, a good majority of us really can't say we've never tuned to the bottle when things got a little tough. Forgive me for not being strong enough to get through my hardships on my own... it's not like I was partying it up in clubs and dancing on tables... all of my realizations happened in the comfort of my apartment, with good friends by my side. Ya can't fault me for that.

So here we go...

I've always wondered what it takes for some people to get motivated. I guess I've always seen myself as a motivated person... but at the same time, just like anyone else, I can easily get discouraged and be like 'F this noise... it's not worth it.' For me, I find motivation through a lot of different things... however, where that motivation takes me is entirely another story. Sometimes to a positive place, sometimes a negative place, and sometimes I land in-between... you know, in that sucky spot where you can't figure out which end is up and you know that life isn't that bad, but at the same time you just wanna stay put because you feel like if you make any sudden moves shit can just totally go south? Forgive me for not thinking everything is sunshine and rainbows... because more often then not, I've been dealt a ummmm... 'less than stellar' hand... so I'm just going off what I know.

Finding motivation in people; my friends, my family, my enemies (or enemY, to be more specific)... that can take me ANYWHERE. Finding motivation in a state of mind; happiness, sadness, emptiness, lonliness, fulfillment... again, can take me ANYWHERE. But taking that risk, and throwing yourself into that motivation, wherever it stems from is scary... because like I said, I can land ANYWHERE. So its so important to be incredibly selective and 100% look before you leap... because hot damn... you can land yourself in a mighty dark place.

For the most part, I try find motivation, comfort, and sanity in two things: my sense of humor and music. If I can laugh, it's all good. I am a comedy snob... and try to only surround myself with people who are going to make me laugh and enrich my life in some way. Laughter is without a doubt, the best medicine, the best therapy, the best cure. My cure. That and music. Without that combo, who knows what the hell I'd be right now... holy train wreck, kids.

Whether its a song that's going to let me cry and dig deep... or a song that's going to make me want to get up and shake it... or the best songs; the kind of song that takes you to a place that makes you happy... where you can remember exactly where you were and who you were with when you heard it... whether its an old school joint that makes me think of my parents or my brother... or a song that was just a vital point... a memorable point in my life... it all feels ok for that moment. Everyone should have a soundtrack to their life. I happen to have volumes upon volumes to my soundtrack... but there should be at least 5 to 10 good songs you can name that can make you feel something somewhere inside you.

So this is my beginning... "the jumpoff" to the things that matter to me. Read it if you want... or don't. Free will homies. Some things will make you laugh, some may make you cry. Some may make you want to stop reading and be like "this b!tch is crazy/stupid/<insert your adjective here>"... and others will make you want to know more. Some may upset you; although that is not my intention. My opinions are my own... you can agree or disagree... just don't judge me. As they say; "walk a mile in my shoes".

Basically, all I want to do is make you laugh, make you think, open your heart and your mind a bit, and give you a little glimpse into me... someone who many people have told me is guarded, changed, funny, crazy, un-readable, loyal, strong, confusing... you name it. Take it or leave it... this is me. Like everyone, I have good days and bad... so not everything will be pleasant... know that going in. Life is a crap-shoot. So if I don't know what's around the next corner for me, you sure as hell don't either. So don't think what you read yesterday will be what you're going to read today... anyone that knows me, knows I'm FULL of surprises ;)

This is basically my public journal... the beginning of what I hope to make into a book someday.

Enjoy,
m.