While driving home today I heard Landslide, by Fleetwood Mac on the radio. Such an amazing song… while listening, my mind began to flow…
All throughout our lives we’re taught to “be careful”… “don’t do that”… “don’t go there”. For most of us, there has always been someone there, protecting us & lighting our way. But what happens when the light goes out & we’re on our own? How do we know which direction to take? Will we be ok walking those paths all alone? Life is made up of a series of decisions & experiences that ultimately make us the people we grow to be. As long as the good outweigh the bad, we’ll usually always be on the “right” side of the tracks. But what happens when the line between good & bad is so fine, it’s impossible to tell which outcome to expect? The risk that may be too risky… the safe bet that may be too safe… what determines the right or wrong in a situation? We don’t want to disappoint the people who held the light & laid out the groundwork for us by screwing it up… BUT ultimately, the choices we make are our own. People can guide us & give us all the advice in the world… but at the end of the day, we’re going to do what we want to do. As soon as we start heading for a cliff they jump in & try save us because somehow, someway, someone always seems to know what’s better for you than you do. And maybe they do. Or maybe, falling off that cliff, climbing back up & getting back on that path is just what you needed to gain a little perspective for the next time.
All my life I’ve played it safe. Of course, like everyone, I’ve had my moments, but overall, I’d consider myself a safe, fairly predictable person. Good grades, graduated college, got a decent job, good friends, good family. I’ve done everything to this point the way “they" say (whoever the hell "they" are) things should be done to live a full, happy life. So, what now? Once that checklist is complete isn’t the rest of my life supposed to just unfold into perfection?! Where is the happy ending I signed up for?! No one told me I'd have to keep on working at it... ugh, what a bitch. What happens when even the most safe, secure situations fall to pieces? What if you get your “happy ending” & years later it blows up into a million pieces?! Easy. YOU KEEP GOING.
You get scared into the realization that nothing is guaranteed & almost everything in life is a risk. A lesson I am so thankful I’ve learned. A lesson that led me to where I am today.
The truth is, not all equations add up. Not everything makes sense & not everything has to be done “right” for it to work for you. My idea of perfect might be your idea of a disaster. Some people may look at the things I do as crazy, but I see them as risks worth taking. I do believe there is a life course drawn out for us… but I also believe that what’s drawn out is the safest route. The route that our Mothers took, that their Mothers took, & so on. Not that the lives they chose were wrong, because for them, it worked. We wouldn’t be here if they chose differently, but I’m sure they’d have much more interesting stories to tell if they added in some more excitement. We can absolutely stay on that course, but veering off every so often to take the scenic route is always an excellent idea.
A friend of mine who is currently living in Spain said something to me that really stuck. I asked her why after graduating from college & already being away from her family for 4 years would she want to travel overseas to a country where she barely spoke the language, when she could be getting her life & career started here? Her reply: “I don’t want to wake up one day & say that I haven’t done anything fun with my life. I want to have great stories to tell my kids.”
I’m on the cusp of my 29th birthday & have realized I have a resume full of boring. I need to switch it up.
So in collaboration with adding some points to my life resume, I’ve slooowly been making the transition from pessimist to optimist. Actions speak louder than words, so if I don’t work to create the happiness & excitement I long for, I can’t be upset when it doesn’t happen. Although looking at the glass half empty comes so much easier than looking at it as half full, I am determined. The only way I can change for the better is if I look at things with an open mind & tackle them head on with a positive outlook. The person dancing all night at a party is always having a better time than the one complaining that the music is too loud.
With that, as with any change, comes a ton of fear. To help me along the way, I’ve been channeling the optimism of someone very important to me. He has convinced me that thinking positive will lead to acting positive, which will lead to living positive. I’m still in phase 1, haha. As a part of that, I’ve been reading a handful of positive quotes every day. There is so much truth & power in words & the most profound things can be said in just a line or two. The one I found this morning is the perfect way to close:
“Pessimism leads to weakness; Optimism leads to power.”
~William James
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